the saids and the unsaids

I've been wracking my head, asking myself "What did I learn this week?" About the world, about work, about life, about me. It's never as straightforward as it sounds. Even when I was a kid and my parents asked, what did you learn at school today? The easy answer is: some grammar structures in English, some algebraic equations in Maths, some biological system structure in Science. Then there are the trickier answers: some children can be cruel and bullies, I think I have crush on someone in the next class, I think I flunked my test and feel like a failure. What are the saids and unsaids in what we learn each day? each week?

My Saids:

• Jazz has a healing soulful power...thank you, Sidney Bechet.

• Books, like our favourite childhood toys, choose us. They come to us when we are ripe to read it. My wonderful friend, Kate, introduced me to "The Crossroads of Should and Must: Find and Follow Your Passion" by Elle Luna. It blatantly asks me: "What is your MUST?" 

• It is eye-opening to do something new. This week, I went to two volunteer orientations related to my love of writing and English. I may follow through with both or none. Trying is a first step. So one step at a time. For a commitment phobe like me, commitment is like running a marathon. Therefore, I am trying to crawl before I walk, walk before I run. 

My Unsaids

• My stomach still misses Asia and I've been eating vermicelli noodles with fish sauce and bok choy all week.

• It takes greater effort to do something new and break routine. Most times I feel it's easier to stay at home with a book. I managed to try two new things this week. Then I chose to be kind to myself about not attempting the third. 

• Feeling stuck or in a funk will eventually go away. The trick is to be aware of it, say hello, and go about my business until it realizes it is unwanted and walks out the door unescorted. The trick is to keep shifting seats, moving perspectives, walking forward towards my goal, which I see as a pilgrimage, a long journey of spiritual significance. 

Thank you for listening.